The long and winding road

April 23, 2009

And so this midlife journey of inner exploration is underway for real.

Will we find that the hero has sabotaged his own life and turned it to ruin? Or will the saga have a fairy tale-like ending where the hero lives happily ever after? That, my friends, we won’t learn for a while.

Here is what we know after three weeks: My horizons are definitely broadening, as I’m talking to new people, making new acquaintances and exploring new things – like blogging. I’m listening to the tales of economic woe with open and sympathetic ears. I’m thinking that maybe we do have too much “stuff’ and this is our opportunity to live a leaner, meaner life.

Do we really need two homes, a boat, a jet ski, numerous cars and dinner out three times a week? Maybe life wasn’t meant to be lived with all these material burdens. Without them, I would be pretty much worry free right now. Is that the lesson I'm supposed to learn?

Every American family should be able to live off the proceeds of one income. That’s my new economic principle. It’s really an old principle, too. My parents raised four children basically from the wages earned by my father. I didn’t really think much of it as a kid, but I think my father was laid off often, and I know he traveled to places like Cincinnati, Pittsburgh, Massena and Oswego to work on jobs, commuting home on weekends. That could not have been easy.

Speaking of easy, I’ve come to the conclusion that my first 52 years were free of almost all hassles. Life was too easy. The higher powers must have wanted me to experience a little adversity on the journey, so they instructed me to take this buyout and take a more difficult, but rewarding path.

“Get off easy street and see what life is like when you’re struggling to get a job; see how it feels when no one responds to your letters and resumes. This is the other side of life,” my mind says.

Even with the mental travails of the past few weeks, my problems are nothing compared to many people. That’s an important fact to remember. I can get out of this jam by successfully completing a year of higher education like many, many hard-working young people do, or by just getting rid of some of the “stuff” we’ve come to acquire.

The important thing in life is to maintain my close-knit family, keep us safe and happy, and to treasure the friendships we’ve made. As Bill Clinton would say, “It’s the people, stupid.”

Today’s lesson boils down to this: It took leaving a safe, secure job for me to start really experiencing life. I hadn't realized how smug I was. I do feel aware and engaged doing different things each day instead of being bored to tears sitting in the same office every day for 24 years. (Out of the comfort zone.)

As for the roulette wheel: Round and round she goes, and where she stops, nobody knows.