Consider it a gift

April 18, 2009

Why can’t I get it through my thick skull that this opportunity to return to school for nearly free is a tremendous gift from the universe? Just accept it, and stop fighting it and you’ll be much better off, I’m telling myself in the past day.

Sitting by the bonfire last night with a neighbor, she counseled me that my intentions are divided and that’s what’s leading to the wholesale anxiety.

“Don’t be looking for jobs on a serious basis. Why are you looking for jobs? That’s like serving two masters. You can’t go to school and be looking for jobs at the same time,” she said.

I’ve picked up my mother’s rosary and have started to recite the rosary during the past two days, asking for strength and focus. People always resort to the appealing to the higher power during trying times, and I am no exception. (And times aren’t really all that trying. I have about a 15-month financial cushion, school starting in three weeks, and after only two weeks of job seeking, have an opportunity to work during the summer at a place I’ve always wanted to work.
How bad is all that?

Today is a beautiful spring day in Chautauqua, so I’m going to put my mental resources into lapping up the splendor of the day. I’ll get some more gardening done, maybe take a paddle boat ride and head for the Rod and Gun Club for dinner. Now that’s a nice day in my book.

I keep saying this, but it is amazing what I’m learning about myself in these three weeks since I’ve left my longtime employment at The News. I’ve learned that I really have to put into practice all those self-help tips I’ve been reading through the years: Live for the day, stay positive, keep focused and maintain your inner strength. Also, keep moving because it would be easy to fall into a depression. (Some cottage friends told a story the other day of a neighbor who lost his good job in Erie, Pa., and feel into a deep depression. He’s now selling his house, they said. Trying times in America – the elimination of the middle class and orchestrated by the powers that be.)

Having said that, I’m off to grab a shovel and rake and make friends with the soil.