Weekend vibrations

May 4, 2009

I think I have it figured out: I feel fairly normal on weekends because I'm at the cottage “cheese” and I’m used to relaxing and spending my time in Chautauqua on Saturdays and Sundays. I’m in my comfort zone on weekends. It’s what I’m used to.

Then come Monday, the anxiety level ramps up because most able-bodied people head off to work. It kind of gives me the creeps to be stuck at home. That will end one week from today when my first postgraduate class begins. We’ll see how that goes. I have to remain optimistic and grow some stones. It can’t be that difficult. Hundreds of thousands of people accomplish their degrees every year.

I’m thinking I might spend a lot of study time at the college. That might help reinforce my sense of purpose. That will help get me out of the house. (The “grass is always greener principle”: I had always dreamed of staying home and doing yard work and gardening. Now that I have that, I’d rather be trudging off to work.)

There’s not a lot to report. The days at home seem to have taken on a rhythm: wake up, go on the Internet, do a little studying for some CLEP exams I’ll have to take, do some yard work, pester the Blessed Wife at her place of employment by calling a couple of times, lay around with the cat, try to dust off the jacket of anxiety that seems to be wrapped around me and then set to preparing dinner.

For all those people who make midcareer changes, I salute you. It takes real determination to accomplish that goal. I need to turn up the volume on those knobs as well: determination and happiness. Don’t worry, be happy.